Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Humor: Festivals

Having taken care of a few festival stages in the last couple weeks it makes me realize how lucky I am to work on an permanent system with people that I'm used to. Some of the comments I've heard (and made) in the last few days really bring that to light.

"My band needs five mics across the front" (unsaid: two of which will never be used and the third will only be used by the bass player to tell jokes nobody will get)

"OK, I got the equipment all working for my stage. Now all I have to do is try to care."

 "Huh, I've been on stage for five seconds and nobody has miced up my amp... better CRANK THAT PUPPY UP or no one will hear me."

"Whoa! Turn that monitor down I can hear myself (shudder)."

"I see these girls every year at this stage. Last year I told one of em to get a pickup for her guitar and she showed up with one this year. Then I told her not to be afraid of the mic and get right up on it and whaddaya know... SHE DID! I guess I'm making a difference in the world after all!"

"Whelp... all the GFCIs are tripped so we can't actually do anything on this stage... but at least we're all safe. Dang humidity!"

"I mix my own set with my computer and this little mixer because I don't trust sound guys. I'll just give you a feed." (Constant feedback and vocals drowned out by music.)

"Hey man, the police are here looking for your guitar player"

"I gotta go shower before the gig." (What? Shower? Before you get all sweaty and nasty under the lights?)

Add your best to the comments Brethren of the Knob and Fader.

1 comment:

  1. One of my favorites came from when I was doing an indoor festival with 5 or so acts from 11pm until 4AM. Half way through it on the changeovers the promoters decided to get a beatboxer on the mic to beatbox while we were getting another band set up.

    He's a fantastic beatboxer but he came off as a total prick. But, I get him going start working on getting the band set up. He decides to stop his set and start sound checking the mic.

    "ok, give me some more lows. wub. wub. wub. Yea, a little more. Perfect. Ok, now give me some more highs. click. click. click" perfect"

    I tap him on the shoulder and wave. He doesn't quite get it that I was standing next to him the whole time and changed nothing. I laughed a whole hell of a lot.

    I have, since, done many shows with this kid. He's not actually a prick like I first thought. He's actually superbly kind and just really shy. He manufactures a false bravado on stage. But, time and time again he asked for both more "highs" and "lows" while I change nothing and he ends up happy.


You're the Scotty to our Kirk